the bachelor week 6...or something?

OK, I know this is getting WAY out of hand. Here's what happened -- work got busy, then I went to Indiana to see my newborn nephew, then I got appendicitis. And now I am stuck at home recovering and catching up on The Bachelor. Finally.

OK, so let's take a look at the highlights of what happened while I was busy at work:

Week 6 -- Panama City

Kacie B's One-on-One Date: Desert Island

It's no secret Kacie B is a front-runner in Ben's mind. Ben tries to build some suspense by introducing the idea that he and Kacie B could run out of things to talk about during their day on a deserted island. Blah, blah, blah, whatever, you already love each other; you'll be fine. Roses all around.

I've been watching An Idiot Abroad season 2 at the same time as watching The Bachelor, and it's amazing how many of the same things they do on both shows. Strangely enough, even though both included fishing, cracking open coconuts, and making a fire, Karl Pilkington's experience on a desert island wasn't nearly as romantic and appealing as Kacie B and Ben's.

Plus, Ben had Kacie B for company. Karl Pilkington had this:



Group Date: Going Native

Dr. Emily, Nicki, Lind-Z, Bored Casey, Model Courtney, and Brunette #3 are chosen for this week's group date. This means Blakely and Chill Rachel are destined for the infamous two-on-one date. Blakely puts on her poker face and acts super excited while Chill Rachel all but loses her trademark cool.

The rest of the girls are escorted to the edge of civilization where Ben greets them in a rotted-out wooden motor boat to take them into the jungle. The gals are greeted by a cheerful tribe of talkative old men, loinclothed children, and colorfully dressed women who pull the ladies into a nearby hut. The bachelorettes are given native attire to wear for the day -- beaded bibs for tops and sarongs for bottoms. While the rest of the girls are aware that this show will be broadcast back in the States and opt to keep their bikinis on under the tribal garb, Courtney gets into the cultural spirit and decides to free-ball it.

Now, I guarantee that it didn't look as graphic as the lovely ABC editors made it out to be with their wiggling black bar over Courtney's boob area. But it definitely raised the entertainment value.



When Ben shows up also free-balling it in a loin cloth, he chides the gals for keeping their swimsuits on, with the exception of Courtney -- who is only too glad to give her beads a good shake whenever possible, making the ABC editors' modesty fuzzing/black barring job more difficult.

Back at the swanky Trump Club, Courtney continues to pull focus by strategically timing her dip in the pool just when the nervous talker Brunette #3 is trying to have a pre-kiss interview with Ben. Courtney is clearly feeling good about her game tonight, and she gives Ben her room number should he want to drop by later.

Um...do they all get their own rooms? Don't they share suites? Did the producers just give Courtney her own room so she could do this whole thing?

Predictably, Ben still feels a little dirty about his skinny-dipping excursion in Puerto Rico, and he never shows up.

Two-on-One Date: Three to Tango

OK, fine...it's salsa, not tango. Work with me here, ABC.

It's VIP cocktail waitress Blakely vs. Chill Rachel, and while Blakely dominates on the dance floor, Chill Rachel sweats it out on the sidelines. But during dinner, despite Blakely's outpouring of emotions and display of scrapbooking skills, Ben makes the decision in favor of Chill Rachel.

Poor Blakely! We better see you on the Bachelor Pad!

We're So Bored! Somebody Make C-Hare Do Something!

Apparently the producers were getting bored too; they just dove to the bottom of the barrel for any scrap of drama they could add to this episode. You know things are bleak when the associate producer has to dig through audition tape transcripts to find out that Bored Casey, the least interesting/interested cast member, came on the show to get over a relationship with an on-again, off-again boyfriend. And take action on it!

C-Hare comes to the door and his presence alone scares the crap out of the girls. It's got to be kind of cool to have that sort of reputation. When he asks Bored Casey to join him (barefoot) in the courtyard, the rest of the girls speculate about what could possibly be happening because Bored Casey is way too boring to have anything dramatic happening in her life.

What is this nonsense? C-Hare starts by telling Casey she's in love with someone else and has a boyfriend back home.

Bored Casey: I have an ex-boyfriend.
C-Hare: We talked to him and he says you're still in a relationship.
Bored Casey: OK, that's not true. Michael isn't my boyfriend; he's just my back-up plan for if this doesn't work out.
C-Hare: OK, I have to make this into something, so will you at least admit you're not in love with Ben?
Bored Casey: Well...I want to be in love with Ben...or whatever...and I don't want to be in love with Michael, but I guess I'm not completely over him.
C-Hare: So you're still in love with Michael. Say it. Say it into the mic, on the camera. You're still in love with Michael.
Bored Casey: I guess...I still have...feelings for Michael.
C-Hare: Good enough for me! Let's go see Ben.

Ben and Bored Casey have nothing going on, so he decides to let her go. Doesn't seem too upset about it. Poor Casey is escorted to the rejection car in a pool of WTF tears, and C-Hare announces to the rest of the girls that Bored Casey has been sent back to the States for being in love with another man (gasp!!!).

OK...but on Ali's season of The Bachelorette we let Chicago Frank get all the way to the finals while he was still hemming and hawing over his hometown ex?! That doesn't seem fair.

Rose Ceremony

Outside of the usual "I feel like our relationship is so real!" conversations, Brunette #3 makes the night a little more interesting by getting herself drunk and trying to make out with Ben. Except her damn mouth keeps getting in the way!

OK, Brunette #3, I feel your pain. I often have to will myself to stop making words at people when I'm nervous. Or just...ever. But for the love of mustard, shut UP, woman!!!

Ben is only too happy to be interrupted by C-Hare clinking his little glass to gather everyone for the rose ceremony.

Roses go to...

Nicki
Courtney
Dr. Emily

Brunette #3, despite her last-ditch efforts at making an impression, is sent home. I hope she gets to talk out her feelings somewhere.

Coming Up...

Week 7 will be brought to you very soon by funny lady and returning guest recapper Sara Spelled Without an H! Followed by a recap of this week's episode. And then we'll be caught up!

Thanks for hanging in there.

Lisa ;)

the bachelor week 5: a league of their own

The drama factor is already on the rise as the girls and Ben land in Puerto Rico this week. Dr. Emily admits she's still a little obsessed with Courtney's behavior; while Courtney, wearing a t-shirt that declares, "BE NICE!" warns the cameras that if Emily tries to cross her, she will not hesitate to make Emily look like a fool.

Read the shirt, folks.

C-Hare explains that everyone gets a date this week and drops off the first card before hitting the beach for the week.

One-on-One Date 1: Helicopter Date 2

Brunette #3 reads the date card, addressed to Nicki, in some pretty choppy Spanish. ( I couldn't have done any better; I studied the extremely useful language of La France.)

"I wish I knew Spanish!!!" Nicki squeals. "Who can translate?"

Amidst a sea of stony stares, Dr. Emily valiantly offers us the English meaning: "Let's find new love in old San Juan."

In a helicopter.

Ben and Nicki's first stop in Old San Juan is...PIRAGUA!!!



No sooner do they get their frozen treats than Nicki's poor little tie-died one-shoulder dealy gets soaked in the rain. "It's raining gatos!" bilingual Ben declares as he notes Nicki's positive attitude and improvises -- time to go shopping for dry clothes!

Nicki gushes at Ben's "moo-ee, moo-ee, MOOO-ee caliente" white linen threads. But another white outfit catches her eye as they walk past a church where a wedding has just commenced. This brings up Nicki's divorce and her relationship goals post-first marriage. Nicki and Ben bond over the concept of second chances; she wants another chance to walk down the aisle and Ben wants another nationally televised proposal. Ben offers Nicki the date rose.

Our boy Ben digs the brunettes.

Group Date: Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend (and Helicopter Date 3)

Lind-Z, Courtney, Red, Kacie B., Dr. Emily, Rachel, Bored Casey, Brunette #3, and Blakely are picked for the group date.

This means, by process of elimination, Elyse is going on the second one-on-one date.

Some of the girls are a bit miffed to find out today's date takes place at a baseball diamond rather than a jewelry store. However, Blakely is stoked -- she played in high school and college (what is this girl's story?! She was a college athlete, she knows her way around a head of highlights, and she's a VIP cocktail waitress?!)

After the girls have been run through their warm-ups, C-Hare arrives to announce that Everything. Is about. To change!

The winning team of today's game will get to continue the date with Ben tonight; the losing team hits the showers back at the hotel. But because there is an uneven number of girls, one girl will get to play for both teams.

Aww, where is Monica when you need her?

Ben is burdened with the task of choosing the girl who will play for both sides, and he elects Lind-Z. Courtney and Blakely are then chosen as the captains. Nice, producers. Nice.

Thanks to Blakely's superstar playing on the Blue Team and Kacie B's coaching on the Red Team (mostly consisting of yelling, "Bitches!!!"), the game comes down to a tie. But when our favorite Gingey strikes out, the Red Team clenches the win. And to rub salt in the wounds of the Blue Team, the ABC producers send a helicopter to pick up the winners while the dejected Blue Team climbs back aboard the school bus.


Ben is a little relieved to have the group date narrowed down to Kacie B, Bored Casey, Courtney, Lind-Z, and Brunette #3. Meanwhile, Courtney is sizing up her competition and decides if she has to pretend to compete with these other losers any longer, her head is gonna pop off. After Ben awards the group date rose to Kacie B, Courtney requests alone time with him to whine about how much she hates group dates and suggest that they go skinny-dipping in the ocean. Ben starts sweating bullets and escorts Courtney back to the group before sighing in exasperation to the camera that he doesn't even know where to start with this one.

One on One Date 2: I Like You a Yacht

OK, so the date card said something about going someplace private, but it should have said, "Elyse, I like you a yacht!"

Right?

Getting to the bottom of m'wine glass...

So here's what we know about Elyse: she got her Master's degree, moved to Florida, got a job she loved, and found a boyfriend she wanted to marry. When that didn't work out, she quit her job and missed being a bridesmaid in her best friend's wedding so she could be a contestant on the Bachelor Pad 3 Casting Competition and Travel Show.

What the what?!

After learning all of this on the yacht, Ben suggests they jump off the boat and swim ashore, where they change into formal wear for dinner. Ben has taken some time while tying his bowtie to think through Elyse's past, and now he digs in to find out whether Elyse is here just because she's sick of being single or because she really feels a connection with him.

I have to say, Ben is being pretty perceptive here. I would be a little wary of someone who says they've accomplished everything they wanted to as a single person and has chucked all of that away now that she wants to be in a relationship.

Elyse does not help her cause when she follows up with her "sick of being single" remark by complaining about how much it sucks to see other girls come home with date roses while she's had to wait in the wings. But Ben finally lays it out for her; there's nothing here for the two of them. As unfair as it may seem, Elyse is simply too far behind to catch up with the other girls now.

Ben walks Elyse down the beach while she asks through her tears what she did wrong; then she climbs into a rubber dinghy (so cruel, ABC producers) as Ben discards her unearned rose into the sea.

And it's washed right back up on shore again. Wrong tide, production crew!



Back at the bachelorette suite, the girls fa-reeeak when Elyse's suitcase is taken from by the door. This sheesh just got real, y'all.

Courtney has less-than-charitable words to say about Elyse's elimination, which does not sit well with the rest of the gals. But Courtney sees Elyse's departure as an open door for her skinny-dipping offer.

She arrives at Ben's hotel door...wearing nothing but her white hotel robe, carrying a wine bottle and two glasses that she nicked from the associate producer's traveling stock. Ben admits that he immediately realizes this is probably a baaaad idea.

But it is a one-time offer.

Thirteen seconds later, Ben's and Courtney's bodies are being fuzzed out by the ABC editors as they toss all their white clothes on the beach and scamper into the ocean.



I feel like I just watched a bad '90s music video.

How does Courtney feel?


Rose Ceremony

Going into tonight's cockatail party, Ben says he is feeling kind of crappy about what happened with Courtney.

In other words, he feels like a little slut.

Time to make it up to the other ladies by having lots of kissy times with them tonight!

Courtney is so please with herself that she almost can't keep her skinny-dipping date with Ben a secret any longer. She basically tries to get the girls to guess what she did during a game of Never Have I Ever.

Meanwhile, Dr. Emily tries to smooth things over by apologizing to Ben for her campaign against Courtney...and then goes right back to telling him Courtney is a weirdo.

Uh-oh! Ben is not happy with that. Especially since if Emily's right, Ben has to admit to himself that he just engaged in some less-than-classy shenanigans on national TV with this season's token nutjob. He tells Emily to back the frack off.

"I think he hates me," Emily whimpers as she returns to the fold.

Roses go to...
Lind-Z
Brunette #3
Chill Rachel
Courtney
Bored Casey
Blakely
Emily

Wow! I was not expecting that. I guess the producers' desire to keep the Emily/Courtney rivalry alive overpowered Ben's sweet connection with Red. I mean, come on! She was even so gracious about leaving. I just love this girl!!! It ok! Don't be cry!

Coming up...

Ben and the ladies are headed to Panama! There will be more helicopters, more boats, more kissing, and a very serious announcement from C-Hare that is going to make Boring Casey really sad!

Plus, later this season the rest of the girls join the Anti-Courtney campaign. And for the first time in Bachelor history, the witch hunt strategy might actually work!

See ya next time,

Lisa ;)

the bachelor week 4: fishers of men

Ben has spirited the girls away to Utah for some outdoorsy fun. But the wide open spaces may not be big enough for Courtney, her ego, and the rest of the gals.

C-Hare, dressed in his L.L. Bean best, greets the girls at their Park City, Utah resort and hand-delivers the first one-on-one date card. But before bidding the ladies adieu, he warns them to make the most of their time with Ben. “Don’t talk about the weather!” he admonishes before dropping the date card like a ticking bomb and getting the hell outta there.

One-on-One Date 1: Just Around the Riverbend
Chill Rachel is the happy recipient of the date card; meanwhile, Kacie B. is quickly on her way down that First One-on-One Date tailspin of mental instability that we veteran viewers know all too well.

Come on, girl. Suck it up, Buttercup.

But alllllll the ladies turn a little green with envy when Ben shows up with Rachel’s ride…you guessed it! A helicopter!

After landing, Ben and Rachel pack their pic-a-nic basket into the back of a canoe for what quickly becomes a makeout session in the middle of the lake. Once they separate their faces from each other and climb ashore for lunch, however, Rachel starts to struggle for conversation topics. She comments on how pretty the lake is, how nice the fresh air is, and how much the sun is making her squint.

Rachel! Don’t you remember C-Hare's specific instructions?! Don’t talk about the weather!!!

As night falls, the conversation fails to flow any more freely because Chill Rachel is totally buggin’. She’s so nervous that she clams up and can’t do any of the things she’d normally do, like strut around in her cutest little outfits and send herself flowers and candy. She can't do that stuff with Ben.

Name that movie. Quick!



During dinner in a fancy little wigwam that poor Ben jokes he constructed himself, he realizes that Rachel isn’t really warming up to him. He starts to roll out what is without a doubt meant to be his goodbye speech:

Ben: You know how earlier you said if you weren’t in a relationship for the long haul, it wasn’t really worth it?
Rachel: Yeah. This fire’s hot.
Lisa: Even indoors, she’s commenting on the weather! Wake up, Rachel!
Ben: So, I’m trying to trust my gut but…I don’t know…

Suddenly something happens. I don’t know if Chill Rachel was stung by a tiny bee, or if someone on the production crew put a pine cone in her seat, but out of nowhere she comes to life and starts saying important things.

Rachel: Oh! By the way, I’ve always been really bad at telling people what I’m thinking. I suck at communication. I really like you, though, and I want to open up to you so please ask if you want me to tell you something.
Ben: Oh! OK, cool! Well, here’s a rose…

Group Date: Come on, Get in the Boat, Fish!

Jamie, Bored Casey, Blakely, Lin-Z, Miss Pacific Palisades, Nicki, Kacie B., and Model Courtney are all chosen to become fishers of men. Meanwhile, Emily confesses she’s glad Courtney is going on the group date so she can reveal to Ben what a sociopath she really is.

The gaggle of gals are deserted someplace in the middle of the mountains, where Ben meets them riding up on his steed. Literally. Horses are then trotted out for the girls, and they all gallop out to a mountain stream where boots and waders are laid out for them on the bank. Time to catch some lunch!

Ben offers fly fishing lessons to each of the girls. Courtney observes the lack of game the other women have, and reveals her fishing philosophy to the camera:
“I don’t know anything about fishing. But catching a fish can’t be much harder than catching a man. I’m good at that.”

As someone who DOES have a lot of fishing experience, I would say that compared to fish, catching a man is more like getting a dog to lick your face after you’ve eaten a plate of greasy bacon. Fish are much more elusive. To catch a fish, you have to be in the right place at the right time with the right conditions, bring lots of brightly colored, sparkly little covers for your bait, and exercise technique, poise, and a positive attitude even when you go home empty-handed. Trying to catch a fish is more like trying to win a pageant.

We’ll see who does better on this date – Courtney, or Miss Pacific Palisades.

It turns out, though, that Kacie B. has got a little game herself. She uses her fishing lesson time with Ben to cuddle into his arms a little bit and put her hands in his. But as soon as he leaves, she goes back to pouting in the middle of the river.

Kacie! C’mon!!! I believed in you! Ugghhhh…

Courtney decides she’s put up with the amateurs long enough and steals Ben away to another bend in the river. Ben is completely enamored with her ability to fit into the environment, and next thing you know, Courtney’s got a fish on the line!

I call BS, ABC producers. That was a plant. Someone had that fish on standby in a Styrofoam bucket.

Lind-Z is pissed because she is the outdoorsy girl of the group:

“How did Courtney catch a fish and I didn’t? What. The hell.”

Courtney celebrates being chosen to have the standby fish hooked to her line, and she makes a show of squealing with disgust at the fish while also cooing to Ben about how cute “he” is. Ugh, and now she’s holding it by the TAIL?!!! Yep, that thing is dead.

Courtney slings her dead fish around in the rest of the girls’ faces, and they all slosh dejectedly down the river toward their next group date activity – a pool party at the Waldorf Astoria.

Ben pulls Bored Casey aside for some one-on-one time, during which Bored Casey tries to act interested in the four times Ben’s been in love in his life. Nicki interrupts to tell Ben how thankful she is that she’s been invited out on every group date. She and Ben trade stories of losing friends and bosses days before taping began for the show, and they are at the peak of a memorable moment when Miss Pacific Palisades steals the show.

Pacific Palisades: So, I’ve been on three group dates, and I need to know what that means!
Ben: Well, do you think you feel a connection between us?
PP: I mean, that’s what I need to know from you – I feel like I need more time, and I just don’t get what you see in these group dates.
Lisa: How did she win a pageant?! What is her talent...neediness?
Ben: Honestly, I feel like on the group dates you always get really emotional. And since you’re a seasoned pageant participant, I know you’re trained better than that. I’m not impressed. I think you’re not here for the right reasons.
PP: No, I am here for the right reasons! I want to be on Bachelor Pad! I mean, I’m here to be strung along and ultimately dumped by you so I can be on Bachelor Pad! I mean –
Lisa: Uh-oh! She's not scoring high in interview!
Ben: See, this is why you’re on group dates. And you know what…I can’t even pretend to be interested in you long enough to keep eye contact with you for this conversation. Let’s just end this now.

Ben marches Miss Pacific Palisades, her sash, and her pink suitcase off to the car. See you on the Bachelor Pad, Pacific Palisades!

True to form so far, Ben takes some extra-special one-on-one time with Kacie B. during the group date for some makey-outey time on his couch. Ben is refreshingly transparent about the strength of his feelings for Kacie B. this early in the game. “I’m in trouble!” he confesses to the camera. Aw.

Now, let’s take a moment for the strategy Courtney is going with tonight. Earlier today she stepped up and took Ben away from the crowd, "caught" a "live" "fish," and got to have this fun, triumphant moment with him. Tonight, she’s a little unnerved by Ben’s attentiveness to Kacie B., so she bides her time sitting alone (making him come to her), and then lets him know she’s struggling and has lost sight of her relationship with him. Then she leans back and waits for him to feel like he’s losing her and come up with a way to fix it.

This is her version of fishing, ladies and gentlemen. She is just waiting for him to bite so she can set the hook.

Ben spouts that he likes Courtney and has told her this before. Then he tells her, “sorry you’re having such a rough go! Hang in there, champ!” Nibble… nibble…

“OK,” Courtney pouts, rubbing his arm but obviously still not convinced.

Oh my gosh! You know how when you bobber fish and you can tell something is working around your bait and is juuuust about to take it? You just watch that bobber slowly pulled underwater? That’s what it’s like to watch Ben right now. He goes and gets the rose to give to Courtney, reassuring her that he’s still interested in her.

Model: 1. Pageant Girl: 0. Or as Courtney would put it, “Winning.”

Ohhhh, Courtney. You get that Sheen is crazy too, right?


One-on-One Date #2: Crater Dater

Jennifer the secret kissing buddy is invited to a “No Trespassing” area with Ben for a dangerous drop into a steaming crater. Red notes that this is pretty sketchy. I just have to wonder how Ben gets prepared for these dates – surely someone had to take him to this crater and teach him how to work the harness thingy, right?!

Once they make the drop, Ben and Red are super stoked to be swimming alone together in their crater. Red is clearly trying to rid her head of the dorky safety helmet as quickly as possible so this experience can be a little more romantic. Thankfully they get to take a less sketchy gondola ride later to dry off before dinner.

I gotta hand it to Red; she made great Relationships and Lifestyles conversation with Ben at dinner, and she made the rainstorm work for her by showing she can go with the flow. She totally earned that rose, and I’m cheering for her now. You go on and get it, Red! (Or as Andy Cohen would say, “I root for a gingey.”)

Back at the house…

OK, ABC producers. You could NOT have set this up better. Courtney is in the living room using her watertight logic to determine that since she’s always had boyfriends , she isn’t used to being around a bunch of girls (Really? Model? At how many shoots and shows are you the only female there?); meanwhile, since Red is sweet and normal around other girls, she must be a disaster with men.

Meanwhile, Dr. Emily, who is being groomed as the arch nemesis to Courtney, is sitting in the bathroom surrounded by Monica (the Gretchen Weiners of the house – information is her currency), Blakely (former outcast of the group, who has now taken Ben’s advice and made friends by making use of her highlighting and foiling skills), and a brunette whose name I forget, who is making herself important as Dr. Emily’s drink holder/server.

At the cocktail party, Emily gets a little too locked into her issues with Courtney and decides to bring it to Ben. What is she doing?! Courtney had a rose; she’s not going anywhere this week. Don’t pick on someone during a week when you can’t hurt them. Amateur! You will NEVER last on BP3, Dr. E.

Ben picks up on exactly what’s going on here too, but he is able to detach himself from his infatuation with Courtney long enough to give Emily the warning she needs – you are about to step on a landmine. Back away.

Emily realizes she’s made a potentially severe tactical error in running to Ben with her opinion of Courtney, so she spills to Bored Casey.

Bored Casey: It’s not that I’m really interested, but I couldn’t help but notice you’re getting a little crazy around the eyes. What’s wrong?
Dr. Emily: I told Ben I thought Courtney was a weirdo and it didn’t go over well.
Bored Casey: Oh, Courtney’s not a weirdo. She’s my friend.
Dr. Emily: Friend?! Bored Casey, you can’t be serious. Being friends with Courtney is like, social suicide! Damn, you are SO lucky to have me guide you!
Bored Casey: This conversation just got totally boring. Agree to disagree?
Dr. Emily: Fine. Whatever.
Bored Casey: Oh, um…you know what? I suddenly need to leave this couch and go in the other room where my friend Courtney is because…I’m bored. And I need to get a drink? Ok, bye!

As 100% expected, Bored Casey runs to Courtney to tell her all the things Dr. Emily said about her:

Bored Casey: Something about that you’re mean…or whatever. And I was like…totally worked up…or something. You know. Emotions. And she said she talked to Ben about you…blah, blah, blah, so boring. Anyway he was like, not into whatever it was. You know?
Model Courtney: She actually spent her one-on-one time with HIM talking about ME?! Ahhh-ha-ha-HA!!! FOOL! Once you get on my list, it’s really hard to get off of it! I just want to rip her head off and verbally insult her and shave off her eyebrows in the middle of the night. I’m a nice person; don’t BLEEP with me!!!

Yep, that’s what nice people usually say.

Courtney and her minion position themselves strategically behind the couch where Emily is sitting and talk about her. Wow, these girls OPERATE. When Emily doesn’t take the bait, Courtney sits down on the couch and does a little pot stirring till she gets the reaction she wants.

Kacie B: OK, question for the room from the Snap Cup. Who feels they’ve learned more about themselves in the past two weeks than they have in the past two years?
Courtney: I haven’t. I just know myself REALLY WELL.
Kacie B: Oopsie, maybe I asked the wrong question?
Dr. Emily: You asked a great question. MOST people in this process would agree with you.
Courtney: Ah-HA-hahahaha!
Dr. Emily: What are you laughing at, Courtney?
Courtney: YOU, you fool!!! I know alllll about what you said to Ben about me.
Dr. Emily: Uh…what…I don’t…what…I’m confused—
Courtney: Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about.
Kacie B: OK, so some people have roses and some don’t. How do we all feel about that? Emily, would you like to have the feeling stick?
Dr. Emily: I feel like I’m in fifth grade dealing with 10-year-olds.
Courtney: You’re ACTING like a 10-year-old! Here’s how I feel – I have a rose; you don’t. WINNING.


Here’s the thing that stinks; Emily knows she’s stepped in it, but she also knows she’s not the kind of person who can handle both sides of the double-edged mean girl sword. (Weird analogy? Sorry. It’s getting to the bottom of my wine glass. I mean, it’s getting late.)

Rose Ceremony

Roses go to…
Lind-Z
Jamie
Nicki
Kacie B.
Elyse
Blakely
Bored Casey
Emily (Right, like the producers would let her off the hook that easy!)

Monica is the only girl to leave the ceremony tonight. I don’t know if she found the experiences she was looking for here, but I guarantee she’ll find them on the Bachelor Pad! She’s a keeper, Mike Fleiss.

Ben announces to the ladies that they are leaving snowy Utah for Puerto Rico!
“I was just there two months ago,” mutters Courtney once the cheers have died down.
“Well…we’re going back!” Ben saves the moment and clinks glasses with the ladies.
“I can go higher than anybody!” exclaims Courtney as she extends her arm so her glass is at the top of the camera shot.

Seriously? What is her deal?

Coming up…

The girls fight the tropical humidity tooth and nail as makeup melts off their faces and hair erupts into fits of frizz. And Dr. Emily is still on the anti-Courtney campaign trail. Plus, that infamous skinny dipping scene may be showing its naked little booty next week!

Till then,
Lisa ;)